New Kids On The Ed: Iris
by Legacy of the Phoenix
Summary: Eddy gets acquainted with a lovely new girl with similarities to him, but no social skills. Ed Edd n Eddy created by Danny Antonucci.


Edd wears a nice tie as he shares a healthy soup meal with Irene at his picnic table in the backyard. The latter has put on lipstick for this occasion.

"My, that must have certainly been an…experience for you." Edd clears his throat; he also struggles to hold back his sweat due to his nervousness around females.

"Oh, it was pretty gris, all right." Irene sips her water. "But it could've been worse."

From inside the Keyes house, Eddy expresses happiness at his two friends getting to know each other and quite possibly coming close to being something more. However, the visual experience causes him to show some concern for himself.

He leaves to take a walk around the main cul-de-sac. He considers dropping in on Ed, but knows better than to address his older, bigger friend when he is in the middle of his video game binge. Eddy eventually finds himself walking into **The Second Cul-de-sac**, mentally reflecting on when it was still a** Construction Site** that served as a location for so many scams and misadventures. It is amazing how much has changed in the couple of months he was away.

"Why don't you just pay 50 cents and walk away?"

Eddy looks to his left and sees a large silhouetted boy harassing one of the new kids, Iris Seif, when she is just trying to sell sweet tea at a stand she made. She is a very lovely girl of Arab-American heritage, has a light-blue tongue, and wears a White T-shirt that exposes her belly, a pair of blue jeans, and silver shoes. She also wears the bottom part of her otherwise long hair in a thick braid.

"No thanks!" The silhouetted boy snatches the pitcher of sweet tea and begins to guzzle it down.

"Hey!" Iris grabs his hand to get him to stop, but he uses his much bigger and stronger other hand to keep her at bay.

"Whoa!" BAM!

Eddy, the rest of his body unseen, reaches for the silhouetted boy's left leg and pulls it, making him fall face-first onto the sidewalk as the pitcher of tea spins around in the air to a clicking background sound effect.

"Uh!" Iris grabs the pitcher in midair and places it back on her stand; she then looks up at Eddy as he drags the silhouetted boy over to him.

"Do you mind? Girl's tryin' to run a business here." Eddy roughly tosses the boy's leg away.

"So, why don't you mind yours, McCone?!" The silhouetted boy tackles Eddy to the ground. He throws a punch, but Eddy skillfully blocks it and improbably maneuvers himself around him until he has the bigger boy in a rear naked chokehold!

"Uncle! Uncle!" The bigger boy shouts in a strained voice.

Eddy digs into the boy's pocket and pulls out a wad full of cash, "Hit the road!" WHAM! He then releases his grip on him only to kick the shadowy boy out of our sight to an air-whistling sound effect. "Scumbag!"

"Here ya go. Compensation." He hands Iris the wad of cash.

"Wait." Iris, being grateful and suddenly infatuated with Eddy, grabs his arm.

Moments later, they are in the kitchen of her light pink-tinted house, where she makes a fresh brew of sweet tea just for herself and Eddy. They toast cups as a means of officially introducing themselves to each other.

"I'm Iris." Iris nods.

"Eddy." Eddy nods.

"I know. Seen you around the other cul-de-sac and heard a lot about you. And the other Eds." Iris remarks.

"Hadn't heard much about you." Eddy admits. "And I've seen that weird Isla girl more than I've seen you. You're a nice girl. I can already tell."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't always." Iris confesses. "Did a lot of things I wasn't proud of back in Pear Fountain. Had two really close friends that stuck by me through it all. Then one day, the girls and I went too far. Got chased out of our town by a lot of kids who wanted our heads on a platter. Thought we could run to my big sister for protection, but…I ended up needing protection from her. And, surprise-surprise, the same kids that were chasing me stood up for me. Turns out they heard me get emotional and spill about how I did so many bad things just for attention and more friends. And then…they let me in. Let us in. But there was no way we were getting out of what we did to our cul-de-sac scot-free. My friends, my girls, they took the fall for me. And then my parents decided that I needed a little less bad influence in my life, so…here I am. Just selling sweet tea and trying to keep to myself as much as possible so that I don't relapse and make people take the fall for me again. Guess I really _am_ paying for what I did. Being separated from your best friends is real punishment. It's like getting your arms torn off."

Eddy is shocked to learn just how similar he and Iris actually are. Almost to a tee, she has described his own life experiences since this past spring break. Only with an older brother and the blame of the scam gone wrong falling on him so that his friends could be spared.

"Yeah, I been there. And I don't wanna go back." Eddy finishes his sweet tea. "Let's go."

Iris starts to sip her sweet tea, "Go…where?"

"Out. To mingle. Schmooze. Where you are, I've been. Sittin' around feelin' bad for yourself instead of makin' yer own way. Yer own luck. One of my best friends shook me out of that. Sort of." Eddy explains; recalling the dream version of Edd telling him to re-forge his own persona back in **G.I. Ed. **"And if your pals were around, they'd tell ya the same thing. So, let's bounce."

Though reluctant, Iris decides to go for it simply as payment for Eddy's earlier interference on her behalf. They begin by consecutively meeting with Edd's unseen cousin in his light green-tinted house and the equally unseen Isla girl in her reddish brown-tinted house; coming away from both with zany eye circles and confused facial expressions.

Next, Eddy gets Iris officially acquainted with Ed and Edd in the former's own house; Eddy, Edd, and Iris watch as Ed swims in the fish tank…again.

Then, Eddy gets Iris officially familiar with Irene in **The Lane**; the latter offers her some Lapin cherries and, out of respect, eats a few with her.

After this, under Eddy's watch, Iris gets officially conversant with Sarah and Jimmy in **The First Cul-de-sac**. She shakes hands with both of them as Dre', standing in the background with a small piece of red licorice in his mouth, gestures his black licorice rope at Sarah in a threatening manner before the younger girl takes Iris by the hand and leads her somewhere along with Jimmy leaving for the Urban Rangers. Dre' gives a thumbs-up to Eddy and vice versa.

Not long following, Iris becomes officially aware of Rolf and the Urban Rangers, which has dwindled down to Jimmy and Dre', whom is now a Wee Roach with three badges. She is fascinated by it and is encouraged by Eddy to join, signifying how much he himself has changed.

BOOM! About an hour later, a shaken, dirty Iris rushes into Eddy's bedroom, having been chased there by an angry Rolf due to a recent failure to earn a badge. Eddy, who was watching Netflix with Ed and Edd, steps outside to calm Rolf down before he returns inside. Eddy touches a discouraged Iris on the shoulder and looks at her with an assuring smile. She smiles back.

Finally, that night, Eddy invites Iris to a party thrown by Nazz and Kevin in the former's backyard. There, she gets along quite well with the former two in addition to Xander. She keeps her distance from Rolf, the off-screen Isla, and Edd's silhouetted cousin. Tunes are played and Iris yanks Eddy in to dance with her just as Irene does the same with Edd. Xander takes Nazz by the hand.

"Hey!" Kevin runs behind them; wanting to dance with Nazz himself.

Dre' dances as well, but when Sarah and Jimmy mock him, he angrily yanks them in with several black licorice ropes and stands atop a table as he makes them dance like puppets on strings.

The following morning, after having slept over Nazz's house like everyone else in similar fashion to **Pop goes the Ed**, Eddy takes Iris home.

"Thanks, Eddy." Iris affectionately touches his face and enters her home.

"Yer welcome." Eddy sighs in joy.

Meanwhile, The Gourd and Timber are…in their civilian identities and watching Netflix in the house. Jonny looks to us,

"What? Even villains take time off! It's summer!"


End file.
